


Taako Trouble

by TheSassyWombat



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018), The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bored Taako, Drinking, Grifting, M/M, Outer Space, Party Lesson, Post-Canon, Shapeshifting, Wizards, after work drinks, first drink, speakeasy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:27:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSassyWombat/pseuds/TheSassyWombat
Summary: Taako gets bored taking Angus out for after work drinks and is delighted to meet Double Trouble.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Taako, Angus/Double Trouble (one sided), Double Trouble & Taako, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)
Kudos: 28





	Taako Trouble

The doors were thrown open to a very fashion-forward speakeasy somewhere in space. In sauntered an elf male oozing with style and sophistication. His shiny black cloak caught the light as he moved and ended just below the top of knee high black boots. The cloak was draped over a slippery purple tunic-dress belted at the waist. He clutched a purple umbrella and wore a matching purple wizard’s hat.

A rather awkward teenager, about sixteen, followed along behind him. The teenager wore a smart grey suit, which looked too old for him, and had an explosion of freckles across his cheeks, which made him look younger than his age.

“Are you sure we should be doing this, Sir?” he asked hesitantly. “I would be fine just going back to the school and getting something to eat in the cafeteria.”

“Ok, first off, Ango,” the wizard said, dropping down into a large wingback chair, “I don’t know why I need to keep telling you this, but you’re staff now, don’t eat in the cafeteria. Secondly, I can’t have staff at my school who can’t party, and, after Candlenights, it’s painfully clear you need a lesson in party.”

“I don’t seem to remember that being a requirement for hire on the job description,” Angus said, pulling a plain wooden chair up close to the elf and sitting down. “I’m just not sure I’m very comfortable with this, Taako, Sir.”

“Well, that’s because you haven’t had a drink yet,” Taako said, waving the mixologist over. “What will you have?”

“I don’t know sir,” Angus said. “I don’t really drink.”

Taako’s jaw dropped and then he visibly collected himself. He turned towards the mixologist, “I’m feeling like something sweet, maybe with an umbrella. My man here will have whatever your speciality is, with lots of alcohol.”

“Ah, Sir, are you…”

“Positive.” The mixologist headed off to get their drinks. Taako turned back to Angus. “Trust me, drinking always helps, little man. I wonder when Magnus and Merle will be getting here. They’ll probably help you relax.”

“Didn’t you hear, Sir? They aren’t coming. Magnus thinks one of his dogs is having puppies tonight and stayed behind to midwife for her. Merle found out that one of his kids is having a piano recital and went to watch.”

“What?!” Taako’s jaw dropped. “It’s just going to be the two of us?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Oh no,” Taako shook his head, “you really shouldn’t get party lessons without more people. But don’t worry, you’re with Taako. I can make anywhere a party.”

“Really, Sir, I would be fine if we decided to play with puppies or listen to some fine music.”

“No, don’t be silly,” Taako waved a hand dismissively. “That would be boring, but, to be honest, this is probably going to be boring for me anyway. You’ll have a blast though. The things I do for staff morale.”

The mixologist returned and gave Taako a hot pink drink with four umbrella’s, none actually in the drink where they would be expected. He handed Angus a large stone he needed two hands to hold. There was a small hole with steam coming out of it on the top. Taako opened a tab and waved the mixologist away.

“Sir, what do I do?” Angus asked, looking at his drink with alarm.

“I guess you suck it out of the hole,” Taako said.

A lady bugbear walking by their table stopped and laughed. “Aren’t you a little old for him?” she asked gruffly.

“For who?” Taako asked, looking around the bar.

“Your small friend,” she growled. “Where I come from, old men don’t normally encourage little boys to... suck holes.”

Angus sat frozen staring at her blankly. Taako looked horrified. “Him, me, you thought, I’m sorry!” Taako gasped. For the first time, he didn’t seem the epitome of self-assurance and flair.

The bugbear laughed again and kept walking. “Whatever, I guess you do you,” she said over one shoulder before sitting down next to a male bugbear in the corner.

There was a horribly long pause, where the remaining two stared down at their drinks. “I will curse those two,” Taako muttered to himself.

“Ah, sorry, Sir, I missed that,” Angus said with a deep flush over his freckles. He hastily lifted the rock to his mouth, paused for a stricken moment looking at the hole, and then guzzled it.

Taako sighed. “What a painful misconception,” he mused before changing the subject. “Ok, Ango, how are you settling in, I guess? That’s something that Kravtiz said I should ask you.”

Angus set his rock down and then hiccuped twice in rapid succession. He swayed for a moment as whatever was in the drink hit him. He raised his hand and called towards the bar, “One more, please, Sir!” Then he turned back to Taako. “I believe that I have been successful at engaging the students. In particular, I think my Advanced Illusions class is going well. I have also identified several students who were struggling and set up tutoring sessions to get them caught up.” He leaned forward and his eyes shone with sincerity.

“Ah,” Taako stared at him, “how interesting. Do go on?” He fell back in his chair and let his gaze wander around the bar, wondering how short these drinks could feasibly be.

Angus happily went on for another five minutes about his lesson plans and field trips he wanted to plan for the students much, much older than him. His second drink arrived and he began to hiccup more frequently.

“Sir, Sir, Sir, Sir,” he said with growing volume.

Taako refocused with a jerk. “Yes, yes, little man, that all sounds wonderful. Oh look at that, you are almost out of your drink. Such a pity, looks like we’ll have to go home soon.”

“Sir, I said that I have been observing the bugbear who talked to us earlier. I have deduced several facts that call me to question if they really are a bugbear.”

Taako glanced over his shoulder at the bugbear. “I wonder what is in that drink,” he began, but then stopped abruptly. “I mean you might be on to something. She’s obviously a bugbear, but she is also obviously trying to scam that guy.”

“That was my original assumption, Sir,” Angus went on excitedly. “However, I can’t help but notice that she isn’t touching her weapon. Bugbears tend to keep one hand on their weapons at all times when not in a secure environment, and she has let go of her weapon twice since arriving.”

“Touching weapons, hmmm,” Taako mused, “Gods, don’t let her hear you say that.”

“What, Sir?”

“Oh nothing,” Taako said with a wave of his hand. “Well, you are normally right about these kinds of things. I suppose if you say she isn’t a bugbear, she isn’t a bug bear.”

“I think she has nefarious motives,” Angus said, eyes shining. “Should we tell the local authorities that we cracked the case?”

“Oh, I have a far more amusing idea,” Taako said. He reached up a hand and waggled his fingers. “Yo-hoo, Yo-hooooo!” he called. Several people in the bar turned towards him. “Yes you, bugbears, can I buy you a drink?”

The bugbears snarled at him, showing fangs and then turned away. “They must be shy, poor poppets,” Taako said. “Angus, let’s go join them, shall we?”

“We shall, Sir?” Angus asked, eyes wide.

“Yes, let’s,” Taako said, standing up and wandering over to the bugbears. He rested his elbow on their table and draped himself forward. “Hello,” he said with a wide smile, “I’m Taako from TV, and I’d love to top up your… oh you’re having ale, how boring. Let me get you something better.”

The male bugbear snarled and went to backhand Taako. “I don’t think so!” Angus shouted. The bugbear’s hand bounced off something invisible in the air. “Did you see that, Sir,” he asked excitedly. “I erected a magical barrier!”

The female bugbear smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re killing me, Angus,” Taako said with a sigh.

The male bugbear roared, pulled out his spiked club, and swung towards Angus. Angus gestured and the bugbear disappeared. The female started and growled. “What’d ya do to him?” She reached for her two-handed sword.

“You can drop the act,” Taako said lazily. “Though I do commend your dedication to the role. I’m sure Angus didn’t do anything horrible to him. He’s not the type. That bugbear will be around if you really need to find him. But, first, please let us buy you a drink and you can tell us all about you. You are by far the most interesting thing I’ve come across tonight.”

The bugbear relaxed and leaned back laughing. Suddenly, a slim green person with a blond mohawk that flowed to mid-back was sitting in front of them. Yellow eyes blinked sideways at them. “You two are too cute,” they said casually. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Double Trouble.”

“The pleasure is ours, I’m sure. I’m Taako, and this is Angus,” Taako said, dropping into the empty seat. “Must say, I love your whole ethestetic.”

“Right back at you,” they replied. They glanced at Angus. “Yours is fine.”

Angus blinked and hiccuped. “I must say, I find you rather attractive,” he said, then promptly covered his mouth with his hands. Both Taako and Double Trouble laughed.

“Aren’t you sweet,” Double Trouble reached out and patted his shoulder. “You can run along and get me a drink now.”

“Better not,” Taako said hurriedly. “Why don’t you just stay here, not trying to walk anywhere, little man.” Taako pointed his umbrella and another chair pulled itself over to Angus.

Angus flushed again. “Don’t call me little man in front of them,” he hissed, not as quietly as he thought. Double Trouble Laughed again, and Taako rolled his eyes. The mixologist was summoned and the order placed.

“So, what had you dressing as a bugbear?” Taako asked.

“Dressing? Dressing? It is so much more than dressing!” Double Trouble exclaimed. “I have to embody my character fully, realize their emotions!” They ended by flinging out their arms and striking a pose.

Angus clapped enthusiastically.

“My apologies,” Taako said, bowing from the waist. “As a fellow actor, I never should have misspoken so.”

“A fellow actor?” Double Trouble asked, dropping their arms. “A thespian?”

“Yes, I had a hit television show, Sizzle it Up with Taako.” He paused dramatically.

“Never heard of it,” Double Trouble said with a shrug. “It must have been before my time.”

“What?!” Taako asked, appalled.

“Excuse me, Mx,” Angus said, leaning forward intently, “I must apologize for my earlier statement. It appears that I am more intoxicated than I thought. I don’t wish to cause you any discomfort.”

“Aw, aren’t you a darling,” Double Trouble said. A green tail reached up to gently side along Angus’ forearm for a moment. Angus stared down at his arm in wonder. Hesitantly, he touched the place Double Trouble had touched him.

“Ok, this is rapidly getting less amusing,” Taako said, looking between the two. “Angus, you are really in over your head with this one. Why don’t you have some practice dates with a nice halfing or something first?”

“Sir!” Angus gasped in horror.

Double Trouble laughed again. “So protective, but to answer your earlier question, I’m a mercenary. This bugbear had the password that would get me into a very exclusive location.”

“Ah, I remember those days,” Taako said fondly. “A word of the wise, calling yourself an Adventurer is much more likely to get someone to buy you a drink in a bar.”

“I really don’t seem to have too many problems with that,” Double Trouble said, as their drink was delivered. It appeared to be a light blue mist in a clear bag with a valve to breathe through. They inhaled and closed their eyes with pleasure.

“If you haven’t heard of Taako, I’m sure you haven’t heard of me,” Angus said eagerly. “I am a boy detective. I’m sure I could help you get the password.”

“That’s not as smooth as you think,” Taako muttered under his breath to Angus. Then he cast his eyes heavenward, “What have I become? A nanny? A wingman for a baby?!”

“Well, I think that ship has sailed, what with you disappearing my contact,” Double Trouble said. “But,” they leaned forward and placed their hand over Angus’, “I have heard some interesting rumors we could maybe explore.”

“Interesting?” Taako asked skeptically.

“I’ve heard that a group of smugglers are moving a large contingent of old Horde weaponry tonight, not too far from here. I know several people on both sides that would pay good money for those weapons not to be in the smugglers’ hands anymore.”

“Horde?” Taako asked.

“Oh, you know, Sir, the Horde was an intergalactic empire in these parts not that long ago,” Angus said.

“Really, I only came out this way for the drinks,” Taako said with a shrug. “Why would you want to involve us?” He turned towards Double Trouble.

“Well, your very handsome friend here appears to be quite adept at magic. Our skills combined could make a lovely alliance.”

“Ha!” Taako said with a laugh. “I taught him everything he knows. It sounds like a lot of work, and I already have one more job than I want.”

“But, Sir,” Angus said desperately, “it sounds like this could do some real good. We could stop these smugglers from delivering weapons to someone really dangerous.”

Both Taako and Double Trouble looked at him in surprise. “Ah, magic, morals, you must be a princess, yes?” Double Trouble asked him.

“What, Mx?” Angus looked confused.

“Nevermind, darling,” Double Trouble waved a hand, “so glad to have you on board. Are you in?” He turned to Taako.

“Ok, well this much more interesting than I thought might happen tonight, so sure, why not. But, I don’t think I can let the little man go with you. I absolutely can’t be the responsible adult for that long. Give me a minute.” Taako pulled out a black feather and dropped it.

Dark smoke swirled up and a skull faced man with a large scythe appeared. “Oh, sorry,” he said, and then turned into an exceedingly handsome, black man with dreadlocks. He leaned over the kissed Taako. “How are you, dear? I was just getting off work.”

“Fabulous!” Double Trouble cried clapping. “Encore!”

“Kravitz, can you please, please do me a solid, Love?” Taako asked. “It’s been such an ordeal tonight, but I think I’ve finally found a diversion.”

Kravitz rolled his eyes. “Yes, dear?”

“Babysit Angus for me!”

“He’s kidding!” Angus said, sending a stricken glance towards Double Trouble.

“It turns out he’s a total lightweight,” Taako explained. “Who knew?”

“Literally everyone who's ever met him!” Kravitz exclaimed.

“It would really be the best for him. He’s in so far over his head.” Taako lowered his voice. “He’s trying to impress our mercenary thespian over there.”

Double Trouble waved. Kravitz gave them a long hard look. “I don’t think you are being a good influence on Angus,” he said sternly. “What have I said about that?”

“That’s why I called you!” Taako said. “You're the good influence.”

“I’m a grim reaper,” he said flatly.

“Only professionally!”

Kravitz sighed. “Ok, I’ll help you out this time, but only because I’m worried about Angus. Go have your fun. I’ll see you later.”

Taako reached up and gave him a long kiss. “You’re the very best,” he purred.

Amid Angus’ protest, Kravitz grabbed his shoulder, and the two of them disappeared. Taako turned back to Double Trouble. “Ok, how much money are we talking?”


End file.
